|Me way back 2005|
My arms aren't toned but slim. My face doesn't look chubby at all. My cheekbones are visible (count those rosy cheeks too bwahahaha) ... As I look at it now, I can't imagine how I even considered myself "fat" back then. It was insulting to others, I dig! Because, well, where are the fats in here? Can't help but wish I still have that bod 'til now.
My question now is ... WHAT HAPPENED? My eating habits of course have changed. My lifestyle. My workload. My sense of style and fashion. Everything. From a size "small" ... now I get mostly medium from international brands ... and wow ... a large size in Asian brands! Unbelievable? It's true! Can't accept it myself!
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Ok ... so this is how I look now ...
Ok fine ... I ain't too big anyway but ... I'm just actually "hiding" the fats you know? Mostly cover-ups, cardigans, blazers ... black outfit ... etc.I got bustier and chubbier than ever. My legs are wider. My thighs are bigger. I can't even wear my jeans anymore! (T_T)
Well don't hate me for that girls ... it's just a self-pity I guess since I came from a really smaller size. I don't really condemn it. I know there are lots of sites and articles about loving your figure and all that jazz ... they're truly inspirational, believe me! It's just my preference though ... that I want to get slimmer again. I dunno ... probably, it gives me more self-confidence. My job requires it, I guess. I face a lot of clients and I present a strong, fierce, powerful woman image ... that stereotypes exist and if I get bigger than how I am now, I dunno if I can't still make it. *sigh* Don't get me wrong lah~ It's probably just my crazy idea!
|I was invited by a friend to an event ...|
Felt like "modelling" for that product ... LOL
And my arms and tummy were getting bigger already!
I joined exercise classes and do a bit of the machines. However, I think I only lasted for 3-4 months (or 5 months?) and quit! I was having problems with my schedules and I couldn't maintain it. I was also coping from the fire tragedy had hit us back then. So I had really prioritize. I can't get on with leisure ... must work hard to still get back to business & to shape. I can't afford to not earn for my family anyway. I am the breadwinner lah~
My work is mostly at my desk and I get very little exercise after I've quit Fitness First. This made me grow "BIGGER" indeed. I guess I wasn't really eating healthy anyway. I turned to oily foodies (which actually took a toll on my health and skin - I had pimples eeeek! What happened to the flawless face???) and the results weren't uhhh, favorable! Demmit!
|My Lili Rochefort Cosplay, Cosmania 2008|
My first "official cosplay" was as Lili Rochefort from Tekken. Looking at this photo makes me reminisce ... that I had those more toned legs and thighs ... unlike now. *le sigh*
I didn't give up anyway. In 2009, I tried to "find my inner peace" and stuff yah know? I was really into trying to maintain my figure. I tried those home videos, yoga, and dang! They all didn't work! I kept getting bigger! Whooooaaa!
Biguerlai Slimming Tea! Yes I've read about those side effects but the heck I didn't care! The only worst stuff it did to me anyway was ... well ... I frequently visited the washroom for you-know-what! Call of nature!
Dafuq! I was sooo enticed in getting those flat abs like Toni Gonzaga's abs in the ad. Of course she's sexy enough and have other means than the tea! I wouldn't believe it that it's only the tea that's causing that bod lah~ I won't get fooled pffft! But yeah, that motivation kinda helped and yes, it had better results on me. However, after consuming the whole can and all the tea packs, I stopped using it. I can't work well because the effects are always when I was at work lah~ And just after two (2) months ... my weight has been fluctuating again! Demmit!
After that, I couldn't cosplay sexier characters anymore! Whooaoaaa! Well, not that I wanted to cosplay only-all-sexy characters ... but with my passion in it, I know I couldn't do much justice for the character if I won't be slimmer. The last was this one - Stella Nox Fleuret from Final Fantasy Versus XIII as you can see in the video. My arms are flabby here already. And this was after I stopped using the tea.
In 2010, I got busier at work and had lesser time to cosplay and do more of my hobbies. That also meant I took more time at work and stressed all over! My gawd! I was just eating on my work desk and little time to do walks and stuff! Shiz!!! I was soooo tempted to try those Belo Clinics and try my lipo process! Eeek! Crazy huh?
Kotobuki Tsumugi Cosplay ID by *chenmeicai on deviantART
I still tried to cosplay though, don't get me wrong. But I had more "clothing" hahahah. Although it kinda made me bulkier! Eeeek! See that photo of my cosplay? I was "hiding" my fats again! Haaayyyzzz!
Global Green Life. Hehe. It didn't give me any of those "side effects" and it tastes better. It was actually sweeter I think. It costs P600 per box.
Each box contained 10 packs that lasts 10 days of course. But I thought ... dang! It's too costly! I think it too me three (3) boxes before I realized that! LOL.
I think it has good benefits though. It's green tea in the first place! It has L-Carnitine and Vitamin C so it's healthy! Right? That was when I came to the point that I only drink water and Fit N' Right juice drink because of the "L-Carnitine" craze! Been there, done that! Tried 'em all! (So how did Judy Ann Santos turn that way???) Bottomline, without exercise, it wasn't worth it! Or I mean ... well, it didn't have that much effect on me! Waaaaahhh! I was still chubby!
So I read about some of its benefits and not-so-benefits too and ... yeah, side-effects. I wasn't too bothered. But lah~ I couldn't keep up with it! I only bought two (2) bottles and after that, I gave up! Randolf (the agent) told me I could've been doin' it wrong. LOL. But I've taken a capsule a day and still went hungry. That's all I know. Bwahahaha!
One thing I observed though is that, yes, it helps suppress my appetite. I don't go hungry initially. When I do, I just drink mineral water and the hunger goes away! Poof! But it does have terrible effects ... well yeah I consider it terrible. When I do miss out on one day or two (sometimes, I forget to take it 1st thing in the morning or before my work) ... it makes me really super-duper hungry! And I tend to eat lots! I try to control myself and limit my intake (and no rice still!) ... later or, I'll still get hungry! So even if I eat less, I eat more than how many times I used to eat! Whooaaaa! And it did make me fatter than ever! I don't have that magnificent metabolism thingie so this had the worst effect on me waaaaah~ I never took it again after that. But it already had its effects on me huhuhuh (T_T)
My doctor has been telling me to slim down as it's bad for my health (since I have dextroscoliosis) and I really can't be fat. Otherwise, my spine will meet its worst condition evah! Gosh! I'm still too young to die! Oh Lord help me!
So I dunno what to do anymore ... I mean what else! I dun have the luxury of time for gym now ... and (ok fine! an excuse lah~) ... My work and lifestyle still gets in the way ... I might as well try those "procedures" right? Liposuction? Eeeeek! I ain't too obsessed yet to go under the knife! I've read inspirational blogs and articles about loving your figure and all. I'm in denial though and still thinking ... I'm just curvaceous and voluptuous and I just had bigger bone structure (which is true anyway) ... I've learned to accept the fact little by little that I'll be like this and I just have to love my body and all. Don't get me wrong duh! It's not like I'm saying it's hopeless and it's pitiful now. I just learned and saw the brighter side of it. Afterall, known personalities like Adele are brave enough to face the reality! And so should I, right? However, there's still this doctor's word lingering on my mind that I must slim down for health reasons ... my spine is at stake! Eeeeek!
I've read something about this new thingie though, an interesting one, from one of my favorite bloggers too - from Chuvaness. What is this thing called Sexy Solutions anyway? And if you happen to read her article, I can't believe it but Raymond Gutierrez did look that good and slim way back 2005! Same thing as my slimmest year right??? I got interested then and tried to read about it ...
Sexy Solutions (http://www.sexysolutions.com.ph/) is a non-invasive fat reduction clinic that has machines that can (1) melt fat in stubborn places, (2) tighten loose skin and (3) tone muscle. After doing your diet, perhaps you (like me) might have ended up with another problem that sexy solutions can solve. Examples are: “My diet worked but…. the fat in stubborn areas can’t seem to go away,” or “skin is loose after I worked out and lost all the weight.”
Sexy Solutions also has in-house consultants that can help you with your nutrition and fitness regimen. A concern that you might have after your diet is: “The diet worked but I was weak the whole day so I don’t think it was healthy for me to do and it was certainly not sustainable. Perhaps, Sexy Solution’s nutritionist can point me towards a healthy way of losing weight.”
And they're right! I think there's nothing wrong in loving your body and your figure ... but it's also not too late yet to do something about it if you really want to! Will this be the "solution" for me? Hmmm ... we'll see! Given the opportunity ... and time! I might try it! Especially if I'll be given this chance by Nuffnang from this blog contest I'm joining ... Keeping my fingers crossed ... (^_^)
To all you plump girls like me right now ... nothing beats inner beauty! That transcends from the inside, and out! (^_^) If I do get this treatment, consider it a perk and a need for my back problems ... but it ain't a requirement! Stay happy girls!