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5 Friends Everyone Should Have - Here's My 5!

2/28/2012 11:18:00 AM Chai Chen 1 Comments

One of a few good reads I had recently was this article in Yahoo! Beauty Talk entitled 5 Friends Everyone Should Have. This isn't just a beauty blog or teen talk though ...

Kat, Myself, and Jolay - office buddies
I guess it's true enough. As I read the article, there are certain people who came to mind as they definitely fit in the role described in each category. I can't help but laugh as well. Some of them may not like it (as I brand them as such! LOL) but it's an honest-to-goodness realization. They play a very important role in my life ... or have played a very good role in my life indeed, that made me count them as one of the best. And they will continue to be part of my life forever ...

I've met a lot of people already, in various fields. I've had a lot of "best friends" I guess ... wherein when I was a kid, I thought I'd only have one in life. But each person plays a different role in our lives; and these people have touched my life in many ways too, and they're all in different fields altogether ...

Let's start off with my #1 category ... THE AGONY AUNT OR UNCLE and this person is no other than Jolay Esteban ... One reason why she definitely fits in this category is because ... she's either an aunt or an uncle to me as well ... dual purpose (if you get what I mean) ... LOL. Hahaha! Don't hate me Jolay!

Kidding aside, there's more than enough reasons for me to say why she fits this category for me. Allow me to define ...

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The agony aunt or uncle
The agony aunt or uncle is the perfect person to have onboard when you are facing a crisis—no matter how big or small. If you need some advice, or just a listening ear, this is your guy or girl! Not only is this friend happy to sit and listen to all your problems without passing judgment, but they know exactly when to butt in with advice, and the advice they do give is usually peppered with love.
Furthermore, you can call this friend any time day or night with your problems, safe in the knowledge you're reaching a sympathetic and willing ear. With this friend by your side, you can sail effortlessly through all of life's crises, without ever having to paddle alone in the murky depths of despair. Just don't forget to offer up your ear and repay the favor from time to time!
Quoting it from the article ... this definitely describes how Jolay has been to me. She's older than me and experienced far more work-related hardships, I must say and given that I've not hopped to different companies and my loyalty remains, I guess I've been "raw" in the corporate world a few years back. As I experienced different turns in life, Jolay has always been there for me. I became too-comfortable sharing my woes with her.

Never did I experience down times with her. She has always uplifted me and made me realize the positive side of things, whenever I tend to be negative. Her seniority, I guess, have helped too. She gives me different takes in life to make me realize how better is it for me, than the rest of the world. I've learned to always look at the brighter side of things since she became my friend. For several years now, I guess since 2006 or 2007; both her and Kat (the other girl I was with in the 1st photo), are my closest office buddies. They've stood up for me for all the trials I've been through; and made me tougher. Jolay did influence me to push thru with my dreams ... and some of my success at work is because of her as well; pushing me to do things because I can. She's a "motivator" type of friend as well I must say.

Without her, I guess I can say I may have gone crazy by now hohoho~ But she listened to my happy thoughts and even the saddest moments about my life ... and never got tired of doing so. Sometimes, I may have said a lot of stories already (that may bore others) ... but she never failed to lend her ears to me ... at most, she's always amused at my stories hehehe. I guess it's because we share common interests too, like cosplay & anime / manga, corporate ideologies, relationship beliefs, meaning of friendship, etc. She was the 1st one to know as well who were my "crushes" hahaha. And when I got into a relationship once more, I told her first. She was the 1st friend I wanted to introduce to my boyfriend now hohoho! And when they finally met, it was a lot of good laughs! Teehee! (^_^)

The next type discussed was the LAUGH-A-MINUTE-BUDDY...
The laugh-a-minute buddy
The party pal, the group comedian, the life and soul of the party... We all know one of these people—or if you don't, you should. The laugh-a-minute buddy is that person who never fails to cheer you up and get you laughing, no matter what you're going through. Whether you're on a night out, travelling the globe or just sat watching TV, this friend will make sure you always have a great time.
While this friend is spontaneous and fun, it's best to bear in mind that they may not the best person to go crying to with your problems, as they will most likely make a joke about your breakup and may be far too busy partying to answer that 3 am call. However, a little distraction is often what you need, so if you need to take a break from life's stresses, try giving this friend a call.
There's one person that comes to mind right now and that's no-other-than one of my team members now, Melanie Saban.

Mel and myself
Dusit Hotel, Makati
I claimed my TRAIN concert tickets
(@officialTIMYAP's #YAP4GRABS)
Being a manager, it's hard to play friends with staff. It's been a common notion in the work place where favoritism and similar issues are factored in. I never did play favorites with my team members. I did get close to a few chosen folks I must say ... however, I still remain true to my post. Old saying goes ... no friendship at work. Mel has been a good team member and a friend to me at the same time. While at times I may have scolded for her stubborness, she has been able to understand why I had to do so. Friendship doesn't get in the way and I guess I've proven that in the months she has reported to me. I do not always tell her what she wants to hear (and she hates it, I know haha!). She even branded me as a "bully boss" then; telling me how much she hates me. LOL. Kidding aside, well, I've just always told her what she needs to know. And I guess, that's what has made us bond more.

Our personalities do not match. We are opposites. She's a plain dresser; I am in love with fashion. She eats a lot ... I eat less (okay, I prepare now for her rage haha) She has an overly sweet aura; I have a b!tchy persona. She stays quiet when in deep thought or sadness; I am highly confrontational and talkative. She is very friendly; I am very choosy. But that or all these differences have been a factor as well to the growing friendship. Work is work for us and outside of work, it's a lot of good laughs too. This girl is never hard to please. In fact, she is easily pleased ... I guess what I'm trying to say is, she easily laughs even on simple things. LOL.

So despite my deppressing moments at times, she never failed to cheer me up. There are no down moments with her. She makes things laughable. She laughs at all things. And with her cheerful attitude, you'll just simply forget your problems and laugh together. She's someone you'd want to be friends with. And to date, she has never really failed me, in terms of work expectations. She is highly proactive and is always a good resource at almost everything! I am grateful for her existence! No dull moments!

The third category is dubbed as the PAINFULLY HONEST PAL and I can't think of anyone else but my dear Ligaya Solomon.
The painfully honest pal
Although complete, uncensored honesty is not always welcome, sometimes it is necessary if it will only save you further pain along the road. This truthful pal may not always tell you what you want to hear, but they will usually tell you what you need to know. The key thing with this friend is that there is no malice behind their truthfulness; they are genuinely trying to help.
If you want an honest opinion on whether that person you've had your eye on really fancies you, whether you should dump your latest fling, or how you should deal with a tricky situation, this is the friend to go to. This is a great person to have around when you are facing a big decision, and equally good for advice on your fashion decisions—so long as your ego can take it.
Myself and Ligaya @ ROBOT Bar
Photo by Kira Hokuten Photography
I only have one (1) sister and she's three years younger than me. I belong to a small family. Since I don't have an elder brother nor sister, there are a few friends whom I consider as such. Considering their age and experience, they could definitely give me better insights in life and help me cope with my problems. Ligaya is definitely one of those and in fact, very good at it - in being an elderly sister to me. She ain't too-old, mind you. I think she's just five years older than me.

I've been trained in life as an independent person. At an early age, my parents have retired and we lived on retirement benefits. I was forced to work at a young age to help sustain my family's needs. Being a breadwinner isn't easy. With all the harsh experiences I had, Ligaya has never failed to be there for me as well. And while to my other friends, I am their painfully honest pal since I tell them everything they need to know though it might hurt yet it's the truth ... to me, this is Ligaya! I guess, growing up in the US made her a stronger person and far-more straightforward than anybody I've met. There's no sugarcoating! LOL. A lot of times, she has told me things nobody has even dared to do so. She is always straight to the point. Somebody with a faint heart may not have taken it but I believe, her words are just always for my betterment. And yes, I am better, because of her as well.

Ligaya gives me a lot of good tips in life too. My relationship with my family; my love life; my career / goals / aspirations; etc. We talk about these things and she helps guide me along the way. A lot of times, I insist my side. A lot of times too, she has scolded me like I'm such a bratty kid. LOL. But as we get into those conversations more often, I become to understand more ... and with that, I can say I'm a much better person now in all aspects. Even in the way I dress ... while at times I think I'm just being a fashionista, she goes into deep scrutiny and tell me to dress better for my post. I've always hated that and tell her she ain't stylish (LOL) however, I know she means well and it's for my work life so I follow. The results have been favorable. I am thankful for her being an "ate" to me.

The fourth type is the FINISHES-YOUR-SENTENCES FRIEND. There are many friends who come to mind who fit this category (and I'm sure they'd hate that as well hahahah) but the ones closest to me are Emz Moreño and Boots Ann Liwanag.
The finishes-your-sentences friend
Sometimes in life you come across a person so completely on your wavelength you could have been separated at birth. This is that friend. The finishes-your-sentences friend does exactly what they say on the tin; they know you inside out, you share the same random interests, and they always know exactly what you're talking about—even when you don't.
Maybe you've known this person for years, or maybe you just clicked instantly. Regardless, this is a true friend; the person you feel most comfortable with and can really be yourself around. You know you can relax with this friend and that they're never going to judge what you say—in fact, they were probably just thinking the same thing.

Chai and Chay (coz we call her BootsCHAY)
It's been like what ... four years now since I last bonded with this girl however, we've always stayed close; thanks to all the social media platforms around! Emz has always been that person to seem to always know what I need. When I experienced one of the biggest tragedies in life (as we were victims of fire); she immediately rushed to my aid as well. My bestfriend since highschool Boots Ann has been there as well, despite the gap in terms of bonding moments. Boots have let me stay in their house while Emz have helped me gather donations at our work place, though I didn't ask for it. Emz have personally donated a few stash of cash to help me go on with my life for a few weeks. Boots and her family has adopted me for a few weeks back then. She's been away due to her work but immediately came to the rescue upon hearing what happened. A lot of my other highschool friends (or what we call the Jaggedcity Barkada) have come to my aid as well. I can never forget that. This kind of friendship lasts for a lifetime!

Me and Emz ... at work! Years back hehe ...
So why did these two (2) girls land on this category? It's because they both "finish my sentences" in more ways they could imagine. They're both my bestfriends in different timeframes or lifespan. LOL. Boots has been my bestfriend since gradeschool. Emz has been my bestfriend since I started working. Both girls are equally awesome and know when to come to my comfort. I never thought there would be people like them who are always willing to lend a helping hand, though I'm not asking nor demanding. They know what I need the most though I wouldn't speak because I'm shy or embarrassed to admit I am in need. They're my angels for life. And despite the distance (Boots is always on a cruise-ship work while Emz is now in a different company); we always are best buds ... and are always excited to see each other. They're like my long lost sisters too! Take it like ... if I wanted to stop my sentence (i.e. life or pause due to stress, etc.), they're the ones who come up and make me continue ...

The last category is so-called THE INSPIRATIONAL MOTIVATOR. The first person who came to mind was my previous boss ... a father-like figure to me, Daddy Jack Delos Santos ... however, I thought he'd fit this category and all other categories anyway ... and he's more than just a peer friend to me; but a boss, a mentor, a friend, a father, an uncle ... and many other ways he inspired me and motivated me to be the person I am now, as well. And with that, I kinda thought of another friend who served her purpose to me ... Meladee Ng.

The inspirational motivator
Otherwise known as Little Miss or Mr. Perfect, the inspirational motivator makes you feel inspired and infuriated in pretty equal measures. The likelihood is this friend is thriving in some area in which you are lacking. Perhaps they get better grades, maybe they have a better social life, or perhaps you feel they have better values than you.
Yes, this friend can definitely be annoying at times, but they can also encourage you to reach higher, do better, and live a fuller life if—instead of feeling jealous—you use their success to inspire and motivate your own. The key thing about the motivator is that they should never make you feel bad about your own life, but kindly encourage you to make the most of it, all for your own good.
She was always alluring! She's very intelligent and I could say ... a geek? LOL. She hates it when I call her "manang" because she's too-traditional. I thought I was raised by too-conventional parents but when I knew her in college, she best-fitted that instead. She is always poised. She eats slow. She's always talking in a light manner with a respectful tone. She's always politically-correct. I feel like I'm the b!@tch in her life. LOL. I enjoyed mocking her and the more she hated it; the more I tease hohohoh~ I'm such a bully! Haha! But it's more of our ways of endearment, I guess. I  don't want her to be too-old-fashioned. I succeeded in that, in a way. I made her wear make up! Yey! Fashion and beauty tips ... she improved I may say ... haha!

Yeng, Ana, and myself
Aside from Haydee Cruz (now Mrs. Vallejo, whom we always call "Caselyn Francisco") and Izzebeth Ciupan (now Mrs. Lukban); my "sisters" in college; I also met Meladee Ng; Ana Santos; and Anne Marie Macaspac in our junior years who became really close to me. These awesome girls are my best buds in college. I would say Meladee or "YENG" to all of us is the most-inspirational person I've met from my bunch of sisters. It's a sorority (LOL) and Yeng is the first kick-out stud from the bunch! Coz she hats fraternalization haha! Kidding!

Yeng is always the positive one. She even reads out Bible-verses to me when I get down low ... or if I'm demotivated because of a school-challenge or some bully classmates (haha I ain't really a bully!) Sometimes I wonder where she stores those infos. She's not into technology so she's really the last one to have a Facebook account. Imagine that? Too-old-school hohoh! She's rich in a lot of ways (and I ain't talking just about money lah~ but in terms of knowledge, joyful heart, positive vibes, etc.) and while she may not be the one envied by others; there's no reason why she should be the object of hate by others as well.

She's always loved. She's my cheerleader! I dunno but she always supports me in everything I do. She's like an elder-sister too. When I had my 1st boyfriend from work, she was too-cautious and wanted to grill him back then haha! She's too funny as well ... She taught me proper Chinese since I didn't grow up in a traditional Chinese family. My dad has long been naturalized-Filipino and we don't have those "clans" anymore. She's prim-and-proper all the time. Always an achiever, never a loser! And she's the closest to me, and me to her. I really love this girl ... I do wish that she'll find the right guy who will be married to her ... hope she won't get a non-sense guy when she's already set to be married. That's all I've been praying for, since our college years. She deserves someone worthy for her. Lucky me, I have the luxury to choose ... unlike her...


And so ... that goes my list! Wooohooo! I have a lot of close friends too who may fall under different categories than this five. They said that the Pareto Principle will always apply anyway ... so if I have 100 friends, only 20 of them will be the ones I truly hold dear in my heart. Out of that 20%, these are the five (5) categories I've chosen ... to all of us, that 20% is the part of our friends who are really "true" to us ... our best friends in life ....

I've had multiple groups of friends ... barkada, gradeschool pals, highschool friends, college groups, club friends (i.e. theatre, ministry, etc.), office buddies, workplace best buds, cosplay friends, business associates, etc. and of course, in each group, there would be those folks who'll be close to us ... like my fives ...

How about you? Who'd fall in your five (5) friend categories? (^_^) Share it!


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1 comment:

  1. I think everything posted made a lot of sense. But, think
    about this, suppose you wrote a catchier post title? I ain't saying your content is not solid., however suppose you added something
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    a little plain. You might look at Yahoo's home page and watch how they create news headlines to grab people to
    open the links. You might try adding a video or a pic or two to grab
    readers interested about what you've written. In my opinion,
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