Search This Blog


Should you wish to add support and donate funds for the betterment / improvement of this blog and posts that come with it, feel free to donate funds and I'll be more than happy to continuously serve and give you unbiased reviews, opinions, and posts you love to read and share!

Thank you very much!



My Thoughts on Follow Each Other Requests

4/08/2013 09:09:00 AM Ice Goddhez Blog 39 Comments

So ... I've been getting a lot of these requests (and I'm sure it's common in the blogging community) primarily in the area where I'm currently concentrating - fashion, beauty, cosplay, reviews ... and the likes. Personally, I have nothing against it and I would love to say it out loud, specially to my dear readers, followers, and guests now (and future visitors who'll see this). However, I must say I have a few "pet peeves" when it comes to this request.

Do you get these requests too?
Original Photo Source: Click here

This will be entirely my opinion so whether you love it or hate it, I guess I'd probably not care. Well ... maybe I'll care too ... somehow ... a little. Of course, I value my readers' comments / feedbacks and as a blogger, I guess it's really important. Your readers thoughts matters so yeah ... I'll care. It might be subjective though - I'd listen to my regular readers more as they've been frequenting and commenting on this blog more. We're exchanging thoughts and giving feedback to each other which is really important. There's already a level of trust and understanding. There are some who seldom visits but have been my followers for long - I'd listen to them too. But maybe for random guests, I'll think about it ... it depends on the juice of the matter ...

Allow me to give it a blow-by-blow account as to how I view it and the varying situations that affect my opinion about it ...


Follow chenmeicai on Twitter

Follow on Bloglovin

| Click to Blogsvertise | Got Ad? Go click! |
#phchurpchurp is the newest social media community!


The requests come in different forms. Again, I have no issues with it and I definitely follow back. What I don't like is what comes after ...

Hi Chai, let's follow each other on ...
(but never does ... and ignores you after you did)

This is what I despise the most. That's why I put it as the first. I get these requests A LOT - either on my Chai Chen Cosplay, Fashion, Blog Facebook Page; on chenmeicai Twitter; and most commonly on my COMMENTS field in this blog (Via Disqus) and as a private message on my IFB Profile (Independent Fashion Bloggers organization). I mean .. come on! You were the one who requested it in the first place; why not be true to it? Is there any reason why these peeps won't follow? Well, we'd never know. Because they'll just keep ignoring you after you confirmed you followed in all platforms - either thru their comments, etc.

Some of these blogs, I still continue to follow - because I loved their content anyway. For others, I followed them because I am interested to know them more, and learn more from other bloggers. However, sorry to say, if they keep on being a snob, my only resort is to unfollow. Sorry but  ... it's not because I hated you/them/your content but because we can't be true to blogging with that kind of behavior / ethics.

If you want us to follow EACH OTHER - then let's stay true to that ... and not just one will follow the other.

Original Photo Source: My Love 4U Blog

Let's Follow Each Other YEYYY!!!
(but I can't follow you now because you have less followers)

I'm sorry? I think you ain't a celebrity in the first place to behave like that. Excuse me? After I followed all your other platforms - blogs, social media sites, etc. Well, I get this from some "high profile" blogs with lots of followers, actually. Thousands of them to be exact ... but to be honest, upon observing them, they have very little interaction with their readers. As for me, I wouldn't need 5,000+++ followers if I don't interact with them. I honestly can't visit all my followers as well everyday but I make sure to check out their content from time to time. I've been online friends with most of them and I value their insights ... they matter more to me than those with "blog ego" just because they acquired a lot of followers.

Don't get me wrong - having lots of followers is not a bad thing. But if you let it get in your head, then that's a problem. Mind you, I get followed as well by some superstar bloggers who have lots of followers too - and great content and interaction with readers. It's obvious in their comments ... and they visit other blogs too. They're friendly and is really a blogger at heart - they comment and give feedback to others too; old and new / aspiring bloggers alike. That's why they get more readers than followers.

I guess these types of folks just get followers by "fooling" others to follow them but wouldn't care at all after that ... Read this: The Underbelly of Blog Celebrity. My resort? I unfollow these egoistic bloggers. Sorry ...

Follow Me, I'll Follow You ...
(OMG you have so many ads, I don't want to follow you)

Lah~ Even some of the most influential blogs have lots of ads here and there. They are strategically placed to help us in our online shopping dilemmas. I believe blog ads are important too. Yes, we don't have to "overdo" it. If it's just a blog with ads all over, I also personally wouldn't follow that blog. But if that blog has great content as well, then I would still definitely follow.

Here are some good articles to read (from IFB) to help you understand ...

Blogging is no longer the online personal diary we used to maintain years back. It has become the venue for online news and other great reads from the web. I guess it's also about time you widen your perspective about ads in blogging. Personally, I am working on a layout change too - as I believe blog layouts also affect readership. So don't get me wrong ... I believe my blog ain't perfect too. No blog is! My ads generate results for me and it's not just a hodge-podge of affiliate networks. If it ain't giving me results, then I wouldn't be posting them here.

But I guess, bottomline ... never ask to "follow each other" when you can't do the same ...

Original Photo Source: Cartoon Stock Egoistic

Follow Me on GFC, Bloglovin', Blah Blah 20++ Media
(Great! I followed you on Bloglovin')

Ok ... after the tons of media platforms you asked to get followed, you only follow back on one platform? And guess what? It's the least you visit (as it shows in your content / feedback, etc.) Yeah right!

I am personally into engaged readership than just follow-for-follow. While yes, I follow back on "follow requests" but I follow others as well on platforms when I get requested to. I believe there's more discovery I can have from other people's lives, learnings, postings, etc. You can see from my comments as well how interactive I get with my readers and followers. I follow on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. because I am interested in content.

I guess when you initiate the request to "get followed on" certain platforms, it's best you follow back and not just on one platform you choose (which is obviously where you don't really lurk the most). Otherwise, don't initiate the request at all. For me, I always follow back on platforms requested. Otherwise, I'd state it - or not ask to be followed at all on those platforms (if I am not interested) on other's contents.

Original Photo Source: Pinterest Cartoons

Great Chai! I followed you back! Cool blog!
(then unfollows you a few days later)

This is definitely not welcomed for me so my only resort is also to unfollow. Again, I entertain the thought of following you (not one user ... just third person point of view) because I believe we'll learn more from each other blah blah ... but it's just so rude in the blog world when all you do is gain more followers then later on unfollow some whom you think are also not at par with your blogging stardom. This is even worst than those who don't follow you because "you have lesser followers" - at least they're honest to say that.

This blog doesn't tolerate unfollowers ... well, to some extent. Of course, there are those who followed because they generally liked my content but did not request to be followed back. Those are just genuine readers who later on, unfollows because they don't find my content as interesting. I pretty much understand that. And I certainly appreciate their feedback too, to improve my blog. But those who requested for follow each other but then unfollows, sorry ... I don't really have time for that ...

Original Photo Source: here

Let's follow each other! I need a collateral!
(follow me first then I'll follow you ... won't do if you haven't)

Ok this is somehow annoying too but I play along with it. Haha! I normally reply back with the same. LOL. Let's see how the other party feels. If the other blogger follows then I'm good - I will definitely follow back (there were times I failed - I'm happy my now blogger friends reminded me hehe ... and now we exchange thoughts / ideas too and we follow each other hoho~) But if the other blogger insists ... more often than not, I just ignore and don't follow. Hence I call this the "collateral" type of following. The blogger needs you to follow first as a form of collateral - an assurance than you will follow. Otherwise, they won't. Most of the ones I encountered seem narcissists lah~ well; I gotta escape before I get caught in their dramuh~

I know for a couple of times or maybe more, I offered the same. But that was like so-last-year. I was not so sure how the following things go. And then I completely forgot the blog links of those I visited. I just recalled a few days after lah~ And since they never visited me back anyway, I figured they might not be interested. Oh well~ To each his own!

Original Photo Source: Favim

I don't want to spread hate. All I want to spread is my love for the main topics of this blog - fashion beauty and cosplay among other things like product reviews and shopping and all other reviews. Food, tech gadgets, BPO, call center, leadership, etc. There are many other topics. I've been blogging since 2003 from different platforms too and I must say ... my perspective in blogging has evolved since then. When it comes to blog followers, I want to have those who are genuinely interested in my content. I have said this many times and I'll say it again - I am into engaged readerships / followers and not just those who do follow for follow or similar.

25% off elegant lace dress now

I want to interact with people who have the same passion - and even those who are just interested in some of my other contents. I know I can't please everybody but gaining a few online / blogger friends along is already a bonus ... Engaged readers are far better than a number of followers who don't even have interactions with the bloggers. This will be evident in the page views / site hits too. Check out the bounce rate. For me, I'm happy to keep my great readers / followers and gain those who are truly passionate about blogging too. If the aim is different ... I'll have second thoughts in following. (^_^)


You Might Also Like


  1. I think probably many people would have the same pet peeves as you do :( It definitely is common. For me, I feel like I should follow someone because I am genuinely interested in their content! I mean, I wouldn't want a bunch of followers only for show :( It's nice to know that the people who follow you are people who actually take the time to read and explore your posts!

  2. Chai this is such an insightful post and sooooooo true. can i jus add on one of my pet hate,.... verification in the comment box "confirm u are not a robot" aaaarrgghhhh! but anywho i dont mind following back either because there is always something to learn from various blogs.... and believe me i have experienced everything you've said above. and can i just add on... out of all my blog readers you are one of the few that interact the most... Thank you for always passing by my blog.


  3. Ahahah Chai, you made me so smile! I totally agree with you! Just hate the same things and seriously dont get the point or the reason! I am more interested to create a connection and a good relationships between bloggers:) Kisses dear! xo

  4. Rowena Rolala LovesApril 8, 2013 at 10:30 PM

    Thanks for your honesty and insight Chai! I agree with many of your points. Sadly blogging is just a numbers game to some people these days and that's all they care about. They miss out cause they don't realize to getting to know your readers and fellow bloggers is actually much more fun :)

    Rowena @ rolala loves

  5. I totally agree with you! But What can I say ? Some people are just rude...

  6. totally agree with you!
    funny pics:)

  7. Amazing Post! Agreeeee!!!

    kisses :***

  8. God, I read the entire article and the entire time I was like: Preach Chai,

    PREACH! I loved it, it is so true! I dislike it when people ignore your content or just say nice, so let's follow each other. It's a bit annoying. I like honest opinions and it's a little disheartening when people don't even pretend that they are interested in your post and comment: would you like to follow each other? I really admire you Chai, you keep up with your followers and blogs you like very nicely. And I really think I should take a page out of your book! I never do the unfollow thing or not follow because I think I am better than someone. There are times when I am hesitant to follow because I am not sure whether I will look at them again and they did not completely catch my eye. I try to look at my own blog through others eyes, like would I actually want to follow my own blog. I will admit when I first started my blog I felt like I needed followers, but now I am more settled and I am fine with not getting new followers every day or every week. I do always follow back but I agree that there is so much more to blogging than that. I always comment about someone's content and I very rarely ask to follow each other any more. Thank you for always keeping up with me, this was an amazing article! :]

  9. IFB spammers are the worst breed.. ;) i have met some cool people but 90% never followed back >< LOL @"IcannotfollowablogwithtoolittlefollowersLOLXD" Usage of brains allowed. I follow the blogs that I like, and the bloggers who follow me & are kind for me ;3

    An award for u :

  10. Great post Chai! In my own experience, people tend to be very nice, but you get sometimes the ones that follow you and unfollow afterwards, wich I think is quite a childish thing to do. Kisses! <3<3

    Love sushi and fashion
    Facebook page

  11. Wow. You are so right dear!
    You wrote an amazing post.

    IT'S DASH!

  12. Dear Chai, I don't have your same variegated experience, I just feel disappointed when someone asks me to follow just to get one more reader. Personally when I visit a new blog, and I decide to follow, I inform the blogger that I'm following so that she can follow me back if she pleases. I never say no to a "follow?" request and I like blog hops as a way of supporting each other, but I must admit that I'm rather pissed off by unethical behaviour. I like the blogosphere to be a friendly place. Lots of love sweetie Chai!!

    Coco et La vie en rose
    Coco et La vie en rose on Bloglovin
    Coco et La vie en rose on Facebook

  13. Ya, huge controversy..personally, I don´t mind checking out other blogs if they ask me to, following is another story..I follow, if I like it....

  14. Eheh, like this post!
    I hate people who say "good blog, I follow!" and then unfollow you (because you haven't followed them).
    I check with pleasure every blog, but I follow only if they deserve it. And if I promise to follow, I DO it! Some people only say it. It's annoying.

  15. I follow most blogs i visit I never unfollow people.. i dont understand that..

  16. Yes I get that a lot. Let´s follow each other and then you follow and they never follow back or the I follow you now and they don´t or unfollow you the second you followed them back. That sucks <3



  17. Sam @ Frills & ThrillsApril 10, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    Hi dear, how are you? Loved hearing your opinions on this matter, I have to agree with what you've stated. I think its okay if people unfollow you if they are not interested in your blog anymore but its not cool to follow just for the sake of getting a follow back. I prefer interacting with readers.

  18. I strongly agree with all your points Chai! These are FACTS! I hope every blogger will read this.

    I also abhor that "followed you then unfollow later or the ones who promises to follow back but never did after you followed them".

    I admire you for being into engaged readerships/followers. I may not be able to reply to every comment on our blog but I always make sure to visit the commenter's site and return the favor. ^◡^


  19. I really agree with you Chai! I haven't spoken to you in such a long time! I missed you girl :( We need to catch up :)

    XOXO Anna

  20. I am sure this blog post will be very relatable to all bloggers! This blog post is very interesting to read.


  21. You are totally right babe! I think bloggers should help each other even with mutual follows but everybody should be honest! :)

  22. I agree.a lot of the follow each other or they don't follow back or unfollow after a few days. By the way, I'm running now a spring giveaway. if you want check it out :)

  23. Really good post Chai Chen!! I know people who ask you to follow their blog and then they disapear!! I totally agree with you!! Thank you so much for all your support and your comment on my blog!!! It means a lot to me!! I am really sorry that I don't comment really often, but I read the most of your posts!! ;) :) Love & Kisses!! :) :)

  24. That is soo true! I can relate to each one of these! A very well written post Chai! :)

    That Sassy Girl
    Follow That Sassy Girl on Bloglovin

  25. No problem dear! I also visit when I'm online only ... maybe often haha. Thanks for your support still and for being there :)

  26. Oh cool. I'll check it out. :) Thanks for visiting. :)

  27. Indeed! I am ok with mutual follower requests ... and supporting each other is no problem. We should keep it really "mutual" though. :) Thanks for always being there as well my dear!

  28. Thanks a lot Liz! I appreciate it :)

  29. Oh yes Anna! Don't worry! I catch up with you :)

  30. No worries dear! I like your funky outfits and cool posts. :) Thanks for always being there as well :)

  31. Glad I have you here too my dear Sam! :) *hugs*

  32. True indeed Mira! Well, some out there are like that. But not me. :) Thanks for visiting :)

  33. Hello Love! I stumbled upon this post from a serial "follow requester" & I love your input! I'll admit I request to exchange follows, but merely to get out there & meet other bloggers. It's tough just getting started and somewhat intimidating with all the great bloggers out there who have tons of followers and you have a mere 20. But I'm totally picking up what you're putting down & I love you for putting the proper etiquette out there. & for that dear, I will follow you. On "more than one meda platform"! lol. I hope to hear from you as well!

    P.S. Another thing that irritates me about "follower spam" is the generic posts. For example I will comment people & ask to exchange follows, but only after I have genuinely checked out their blog and given a sincere compliment and/or thought. agreed?


  34. Hi,

    I would like to let you know that we are selling high
    PR Tumblr blogs. I think as a webmaster, you know the importance of having
    backlinks from high PR blogs. And you also know how costly it can be to have backlinks to
    this high PR blogs.

    Well I would like to inivte you and take a look at our offer.
    At very cheap price, you can have your own high PR
    Tumblr were you can use as backlinks to your site.

    If your interested, please visit:


    My homepage :: Cheap High PR Tumblr Blogs

  35. Hi,

    I would like to let you know that we are selling high PR Tumblr blogs.

    I think as a webmaster, you know the importance of having backlinks from high PR blogs.
    And you also know how costly it can be to have backlinks to this high PR blogs.

    Well I would like to inivte you and take a look at our offer.
    At very cheap price, you can have your own high PR Tumblr were you can use as backlinks to your site.

    If your interested, please visit:


    My website :: Cheap High PR Tumblr Blogs

  36. Hi,

    I would like to let you know that we are selling high PR Tumblr blogs.

    I think as a webmaster, you know the importance of
    having backlinks from high PR blogs. And you also know how costly it can be to have backlinks to this high PR blogs.

    Well I would like to inivte you and take a look at our offer.
    At very cheap price, you can have your own high PR Tumblr were you
    can use as backlinks to your site.

    If your interested, please visit:


    Here is my website; Cheap High PR Tumblr Blogs


I used to use Disqus as my Comment Form but now I just switched back to this. If you see some replies not matching original comments, just ignore and comment away. ^_^

If you want to follow each other, I'm ok with that (^_^) Kindly follow me then I'll follow back. Thanks a bunchies!


Be an e-tailPR blogger

Due to recent news that Google Reader is retiring by July 1, 2013; this means I may not be able to follow the feeds of the blogs I currently follow / read. Same thing with my readers. So to keep up with each other's updates, kindly follow me back on these other alternatives.

Thank you very much! I promise to do the same to fellow bloggers I'm currently connected with. (^_^) Just let me know my dears!

And if you wish to FOLLOW EACH OTHER, please read this post first to know my views about it.

My Thoughts on Follow Each Other Requests

If you're one of those I used to follow but now I'm no longer following you, either your blog was changed to private; no longer existing; or simply because you fall in those categories I mentioned in this article. Sorry but I wish to keep a friendly group and remain true with my blogging principles. Thank you.